My List 1998

February 24 1998-March 31 1998 I made a list with my discipleship leader. This list was full of high expectations and lofty dreams. It was written by a girl, that at the time, wanted to feel completely independent and not have a relationship define her nor complete her.

My life was pretty easy in 1998.



Totally involved at the BSU and really learning a ton about myself and what kind of life I wanted to lead, I was a Sophomore at the University of Oklahoma (Go Sooners) studying business and living in the dorms for a second year with a great roomie. Although, at the time, life seemed kinda complicated, in reality, it sooo wasn't at all. At the time I was reading, "Lady In Waiting." This was the first time in my life that I truly understood what it meant to call Jesus my Bridegroom. For some reason, before reading this book, it was just a concept that was a bit weird for me.

From my journal on Jan 21, 1998

"When we fall in love, we give that person our heart. God wants no less! He deserves no less! The fullness of devotion comes from a walk with God in complete fellowship."

Some of that could be quoting the book - not sure - but I know some of it is my words too.

So back to my list. It's a list of qualities (along with verses to back it up) that I desired in a husband. Here it is...

1. Seeks God - is a Christian (Rom 8:5 & 9)
2. He loves his wife as he loves the church (Eph 5:1 & 25-28)
3. Spiritual leader (Eph 5:22-23)
4. Active in some type of ministry (Eph 4:1 & 2:10, Matt 28: 19-20)
5. Good Communicator (Prov 11:9, 20:5, 18:13, 21)
6. Respectful of myself & others (Heb 12:14-15, Eph 5:33)
7. Refuses to jump ahead of God's timing (Psalm 37:3-7)
8. Maintains proper relationships (Heb 12:14)
With family (Ex 20.12)
With other men (II Tim 2:2)
With other woman (Matt 5:28)
9. Has integrity and does not compromise (I Tim 5:21-22, 6:11, Titus 2:6-8)
Integrity characteristics - honest, trustworthy, obedient (to God), pure...
10. Self-controlled (I Thes 4:3-7, Gal 5:2-26, Titus 2:6-8)
11. Provider (Eph 5:28-30)
12. Sensitive spirit - to me and to others (Eph 4:29, II Cor 1:24, Gal 6:9-10)
Speaks my love language
Seeks to understand what makes me tick
13. Understands the importance of feelings and emotions (Col 3:12)
14. Humble enough to be a disciple (teachable) & able to disciple others (II Tim 2:2)
15. Family Man - raises children properly for God's glory (Prov 22:6)

And if this list wasn't long enough, I also had "Bonus items" that weren't really Biblical qualities - just things that I would like in a husband.

*Romantic
*Good sense of humor
*Musically inclined
*Stable family background
*Can be spontaneous (which I have such a hard time with!)
*Can talk with me easily but can also just be still and silent
*Respects my tender/sensitive sides
*Sense of direction
*Gives good back rubs

So, like I said before. This list was from a gal with just crazy high expectations that really seem unreasonable to want ALL of them. However, I knew when writing it that it wasn't something my future husband would be 100% in all areas. I just wanted to see growth or desire in them at least.

Michael and I started dating on April 30, 2004. We were engaged Feb 2005 and married Oct 15, 2005. Sometime between April 2004 and Feb 2005, I found "My List," and read it to Michael. He was a bit intimidated by the whole thing, but with tears in my eyes I explained to him how awesome this was!! I wrote this list, not knowing him, not knowing where my life would take me. I was just listening to God as He put desires in my heart and helped me write them down on paper. Michael fits in all my "categories." He may not be 100% in all of them, but I do know he desires to grow where God leads him and that's what's important.

A crazy, lofty dreams gal who really hadn't lived much life made a list and in turn got to see the hand of God leading her through years and years of life and learning.

I love you honey.